19to21: July 15, 2008
2008 Major League Baseball All-Star Game Special: John Shiffert Names His Own All-Star Teams
John Shiffert
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19 to 21
No, that’s not how many All-Stars aren’t really All-Stars, it’s
Baseball...Then and Now
News Item: July 14, 1970 - In the 12th inning of the 1970 All-Star Game, Pete Rose annihilates Ray Fosse at the plate to score the deciding run on Jim Hickman\'s single in a 5-4 National League wins at Riverfront Stadium.
And don’t expect to see anything that exciting tomorrow night, in part because, as Lee Sinins calls it, the Mid-Summer Classic has become the “Some Star Game.” Not a bad moniker for a contest that will feature a National League roster with (for some obscure reason) Carlos Marmol and his 2-3, 4.13 ERA record (including a 7.36 ERA in June and a 13.50 ERA in July) but will not be graced by the presence of Derrek Lee, Maggie Ordonez, Mike Lowell, Ryan Howard (who only leads the majors in home runs), Carlos Lee or Pat Burrell (among others).While there are a lot of stars who could be appearing at Yankee Stadium tomorrow, the addition of Marmol is clearly the strangest inclusion, brought about only because he received the highest vote total among relief pitchers on the players’ ballot… just proving that the players aren’t any better than the fans in picking All-Stars. Who would you rather have as an All-Star set-up/situational reliever, assuming you have one at all?
G W-L SV ERA
Carlos Marmol 49 2-3 3 4.13
J.C. Romero 45 4-2 1 2.17
The current Byzantine voting set-up, involving ballot box (or e-mail in box) stuffing from 30 locations, an on-line fan vote for the 32nd man, the players voting, allowing Clint Hurdle to choose extras, and requirements for all teams to have a representative, even if that representative has been reprehensible (remember Mike Williams appearing for the NL a few years back with an ERA over 6), regularly produces atrocities such as this. There are better (and a lot more fun) ways to choose All-Star teams, such as Theme Teams, a concept originally created and master-minded by that master of trivial pursuits, Bruce Brown. Like the Star Trek All-Star Team…
C – Dick Rand
1B – George Scott
2B – Benny McCoy
SS – Mark Koenig
3B – Jay Kirke
OF – Bones Ely
OF – Rodney Scott
OF – Reid Nichols
PH – Tom Kirk
P – Ricky Bones
P – Mike Scott
P – Jack Scott
P - Kid Nichols
P – Chet Nichols
MGR – Kid Nichols
In case any of you aren’t Star Trek fans (can there exist such benighted souls), it can be pointed out that the real names, character names and nicknames of the stars of the starship Enterprise form the basis for the team and, of course, this is only for the true stars, the original cast. (Sadly, no one named Spock, Nimoy, Sulu or Takei has ever played MLB.) Most of these worthies are pretty familiar, with the exception of Tom Kirk, who appeared in a single game as a pinch-hitter for his hometown Philadelphia Athletics on June 24, 1947, and catcher Rand. Probably no relations to yeoman Janice, he caught 69 games in the National League in the 50s. Manager/pitcher Kid Nichols is a genuine gold-plated Hall of Famer.
Then there are those who write and vote for Hall of Famers. It seems only fitting that some of the top current baseball writers/authors should have their own All-Star team.
C – Matt Stark (Jayson)
1B – Dusty Baker (Jim)
2B – Daff Gammons (Peter)
SS – Dolly Stark
3B – Home Run Baker
OF – David Newhan (Ross)
OF – Larry Rosenthal (Ken)
OF – Si Rosenthal
P – Dennis Stark
P – Big Bill James (Duh… Bill)
P – Seattle Bill James
P – Wayne Rosenthal
P – Kevin Hagen (Paul)
MGR – Dusty Baker
Yes, there really was a player named Daff Gammons, look him up on baseball-reference.com. Utilityman David Newhan has an inside advantage here, he’s the nephew of long-time LA sportswriter Ross Newhan. Sadly, no one named Neyer has ever played MLB.
Some of the most interesting All-Star teams are those that shuffle players around into unaccustomed positions. Like the All-Closer Team. This bunch is made up of players who, at one time or another, were used to finish (or close) a game from the mound.
C – Brent Mayne/Jamie Burke (platoon)
1B – Jack Bentley
2B – Dick Hall
SS – Doc Crandall
3B – Charles Bender
OF – Ron Guidry
OF – Hal Jeffcoat
OF – Gene Garber
PH – Terry Forster
SP – Dennis Eckersley
SP – John Smoltz
MGR – Clark Griffith
Burke just made his way into a platoon with Mayne by taking the mound the other day as an emergency reliever for the Mariners. Although he was tagged with the loss (the first time an erstwhile catcher picked up an “L” as a pitcher since Roger Breshnahan more than 100 years ago), Burke still received an ovation as he came off the mound. You may recall back in 2000 that Mayne highlighted an unexceptional career by getting the win in an extra-inning game for the Rockies.
As for the other team members… Bentley was a combination pitcher/first baseman, mostly for the New York Giants. Hall came up to the major leagues from Swarthmore College as an infielder/outfielder before becoming a very effective side-arming reliever. Crandall, another New York Giant, was one of the first relief pitchers, and an excellent hitter as well for John McGraw in the first decade of the 20th Century. He was a good enough athlete to play several positions, as was Bender, who Connie Mack used in the outfield and at third base more than once. Although Bender is better known as a Hall of Fame starter, he at one time shared the major league record for saves in a season, with 13. Guidry and Garber were both pitchers who had adventures in center field and, in case you’ve forgotten, Guidry came up as a reliever. Jeffcoat was an outfielder who couldn’t hit and who later became a pretty decent relief pitcher. Forster was a relief pitcher who could hit, a .397 career average. Eckersley and Smoltz are the two most notable starter/relievers, while Griffith had the most success among pitcher/managers.
Finally, in noting that baseball has become an international sport over the past 50 years, here’s the All-Foreign Team. As Bruce Brown (who also contributed to this team, as did Brian Englehardt) points out, this team shamelessly mixes nouns and adjectives, but, then again, as my father and daughter will tell you, I’ve never been an All-Star grammarian.
C – Dane Sardinha
1B – Frank Brazill
2B – Neal “Mickey” Finn
SS – Swede Risberg
3B – Woody English
OF – Frenchy Bordagary
OF – Irish Meusel
OF – Brian Jordan
PH – Israel Alcantara
PH – Greek George
PH – Tim Ireland
PR – Germany Schafer
P – Larry French
P – Egyptian Healy
P – Franklyn German
P – Mike Scott
P – Chris Welsh
MGR – Kaiser Wilhelm (a bit of a stretch)
OWNER – Frank “The Chinaman” Navin
Bench/Bullpen
Ossie France
Joe Malay
Blas Monaco
Chile Gomez
George Scott (along with about 50 other Scotts)
Charlie English
Chad Curtis
Dutch Leonard (both of them)
Dutch Ruether
Turkey Stearns
Ah, baseball, what a game!
-- John Shiffert

