There was an inkling of information about it at the gym, but it was unconfirmed. There were no references to it on the news but it was like a little bit of loose skin next to the nail on your thumb. It kept getting attention. People tried to ignore it and at first, they succeeded. But that didn't last long. It quickly became known to everyone, and it changed everything forever.
A few prominent orioles had a teleconference with some cardinals and blue jays and it was decided that there would be a protest rally at Yankee Stadium during the World Series. The birds had been upset for years but, with the exception of a few mild, isolated protests, had done nothing to fight baseball's blatant birdism.
The Orioles felt humiliated when men playing a game wore uniforms with their likeness on the uniform. It was demeaning and disrespectful to call a team the Baltimore Orioles. Now, "oriole" is not a derogatory name, but the orioles have a long and colorful history, and being part of a uniform is not or should not be part of it.
It made no difference that the oriole on the baseball uniform was a caricature. That only made it worse. At least the cardinal and the blue jay were realistic replications. No matter. It was wrong and things had to be changed.
The cardinals and the blue jays felt the same way. The cardinals are one of North America's finest songbirds. Their behavior is a wonderful example of patriotic, traditional American values since they are monogamous and the male helps the female build their nest and raise the young. It might be nice if more Cardinals baseball fans acted in such a noble manner.
The blue jay is a handsome, conspicuous creature that helps the environment by feeding on large, potentially dangerous insects. The male helps feed the female when she is incubating. Blue jays live positive lives and it is affront to their history and values to have a baseball team named for them and have a human who needs work get dressed up in a large suit and become a caricature of a dignified bird.
The cardinals' spokesman at the conference call brought up a sore point. She said that it was bad enough that birds were being used as team names and that their likeness was on uniforms, but the worst thing was that the gullible fans bought into the concept that if they wore a uniform like the one their favorite player wore, even if he was dead, they would be as much of hero as their hero.
The amount of money that idiotic idea generated was fantastic, and even though the owners and players claimed they didn't make much money from the sale of uniforms and other memorabilia, a few wise fans realized that was not the case. The birds claimed that they received nothing from the sale of the merchandise even though it was for the birds.
The blue jay representative suggested that they contact the tigers in India and Africa, but the cardinal, who had much experience in such matters, diplomatically explained that there was much turmoil in those areas of the world, and that the tigers in America were all caged prisoners, as were the cubs. However, she suggested that they might seek help from the marlins, although they had problems with sportsmen who were always trying to catch them.
After more discussion and brainstorming, it was decided that thousands of orioles, blue jays, and cardinals would disrupt the first game of the World Series at Yankee Stadium by flying into the ballpark during the opening ceremonies of the first game. They would get their message across and their plight would receive international exposure. Baseball's moguls would be forced to address the issue and change the team names.
At the end of the conference call, the cardinal remembered that they had forgotten about the diamondbacks. The blue jay said that having them at the protest would make if much more effective. After careful thought, the oriole thought it would be a bad idea because the protest was going to be at Yankee Stadium, not at the ball park in Phoenix, and the Diamondbacks were not very effective in the Bronx.
The blue jay then added the most significant comment of all about why having the Diamondbacks take part at Yankee Stadium was a bad idea. There would be four games at Yankee Stadium this year, not three.
» Harold Friend is a Yankees fan who hopes that the cardinals, orioles, and blue jays get the chance to protest at the World Series this October.
Also by Harold Friend
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» Today's Pitchers are the Best Ever
» What Would You Do?
» Don't Forget Al Simmons
» Leo and Pete: Leo Durocher is in the Hall of Fame despite transgressions that are not too different from those of Pete Rose
» Joe DiMaggio: It's None of Your Business
» A Costly Party: What a Difference a Martin Could Make
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» McCarver's Wrong: Ted Is Better Than Barry
» A Strikeout: The Cruelest Out of All
» You Don’t Need Television
» Hornsby, Lajoie, and ... Maz?
» More submissions
Posted August 30, 2002.
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