More than two baseball seasons have passed since Jeff Pearlman wrote his infamous article about John Rocker's views of life in the land of the free and the home of the Braves. Rocker no longer is a member of the Atlanta Braves or the Cleveland Indians, two teams whose nicknames have been the object of numerous protests by the politically correct police. Rocker's contract was transferred from Cleveland to Texas, but despite having become a "Texas Ranger," a name that drips with respect and honor, Rocker pitched briefly and ineffectively for the team formerly owned by the leader against the War On Errors, President George W. Bush, and is now a member of the Oklahoma Redhawks of the AAA Pacific Coast League.
John Rocker said many things that Jeff Perlman reported. Rocker reacted to a minivan that was going slowly by switching lanes and passing it. He called the driver a "stupid bitch" and ordered her to learn how to drive. The driver did not hear Rocker. Pearlman did. If a tree falls in the forest and disturbs the air, creating waves, but no human ear receives the disturbances, was there a sound? If the driver of the minivan did not hear Rocker's comments, did Rocker violate anything, other than Perlman's sensitivities?
A tollbooth with a charge of 50 cents was just ahead. Rocker tossed in two quarters but the gate did not rise. Being the good citizen he is, John tossed in yet another quarter, increasing his tariff by 50 percent. Again, in this technologically advanced society, nothing happened. Certainly, few Americans would get upset, and fewer yet would actually react to the situation. After all, if EZ Pass had been available, there would never have been even the remotest chance of a problem.
But there was no EZ Pass. There was an old-fashioned tollbooth with a gate. The driver of the car directly behind Rocker started honking. Could he have believed that John Rocker somehow was preventing the gate from rising? Did he think that by honking his horn at Rocker, the gate would rise? Rocker simply raised his middle finger and showed it to the considerate person who was honking his horn.
Rocker then tossed two dimes and a nickel into the machine and the gate rose. He spit at the machine and drove through, expressing his hatred for the toll and the machine. Few Americans would have expressed similar views today, but one must remember that the incident occurred at the end of 1999.
Perlman was accompanying Rocker to a speaking engagement at the Lockhart Academy, which is a school for learning disabled students. When asked if he enjoys speaking to children, Rocker said "No." But he was doing it anyway, just as many parents obey the public service advertisements that implore them to take the time to speak to (or with) their own children. No one ever said one must enjoy meeting one's obligations.
There is a lot of traffic, a reality that upsets John Rocker. . "So many dumb asses don't know how to drive in this town. They turn from the wrong lane. They go 20 miles per hour. It makes me want.. Look! Look at this idiot! I guarantee you she's a Japanese woman." Rocker got the race wrong but the sex right. The driver was a Caucasian woman.
John Rocker had been the closer for the Atlanta Braves, the perennial National League East champions, a fact that did not sit well with the genteel, refined fans of the New York Mets. The sportsmanlike Mets fans, in a little known incident that occurred in 1967, poured orange soda on an unsuspecting Yankees fan who, while attending a Mets game against St. Louis, had the temerity to actually cheer for the Cardinals. And that was thirty five years ago.
In the ninth inning of Game 3 of the National League Championship Series (a fancy term for the second playoff round) at Shea Stadium, the Braves led the Mets, 1-0 going to the ninth inning. Rocker was called in to close. As he left the bullpen, there were some boos. They grew louder and louder as Rocker made his way to the mound. And then, the gracious, sophisticated Mets fans began calling the Braves' relief pitcher the common term used to describe one's anus. Over and over and over.
Few fans and fewer in the media begin at the beginning. One can conclude that Rocker did not take kindly when referred to him as an anus. Few people take kindly to being referred to as an anus, but this was Shea Stadium and being an anus is high on the evolutionary scale when compared to the other metaphors the creative Mets patrons employed.
A sheep was accused of being John Rocker's lover. Mets fans seemingly are quite knowledgeable about bestiality since they alleged that John and his Ovis orientalis musimon could satisfy each other 2,007 different ways. Rocker's human girl friend (it is assumed that the sheep to whom the Mets fans referred was a female but who knows?) had beer dumped on her by the competitive Mets fans while Rocker had to duck beer bottles that were thrown at him as he made his way to the mound.
During some of his other visits to the Orange and Blue Eyesore in the swamps of Flushing, Rocker has had money and batteries tossed at him by fans who claim to have been intimate with his mother. Of course, Rocker simply should have dismissed such actions as innocent actions by the most knowledgeable fans in baseball. But he didn't. Would you?
The old saying goes that there are three sides to every story. In this case, there is Rocker's side, Perlman's side, and the truth. Few have excused John Rocker's actions, but fewer have been open minded enough to try to discover all the factors involved. The Rocker situations are symptomatic of much that is wrong with society and illustrate that sports often mirror the true feelings of individuals.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/players/14846/latest_news.html
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/sbm3/sbm3pip.htm
http://www.wildsheep.org/taxonomy/world_sheep.htm#MOUFLON
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Posted June 4, 2002.
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